It Seemed Like a Good Idea
by Mird
Summary: It seemed like a good idea at the time. Mustang and the others talk about when they first met Ed. A request from Phoenix-Fire Power. NOT crack- for once. Oneshot.


**Phoenix-Fire Power requested that I write a story about the reactions of Mustang and his crew when they found out that a twelve year old was joining them. I don't know if this is what you had in mind, though…It's a bit random and off subject…What can I say? I'm tired, hungry, and I really wanna watch tv…*glances at television within twenty feet of computer-thing***

**Well. That can wait.**

**It's almost Parental!RoyEd at the end…Almost.**

**Ah, what the fuck? Just read the damn story.**

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It seemed like a good idea

Roy groaned.

Backache, headache, earache, stomachache...Most would pin such bad luck on abstract figures such as 'god' or 'fate'. He, however, blamed someone far more real and far less almighty.

Edward Elric- the way Roy saw it, everything was _his_ fault. Storming in through that door (Battered and nearly broken from all the times it had been kicked open) at the worst possible moments, doubling his pile of paperwork, giving him a headache from a single conversation...It was like raising a teenager, minus the title of 'dad'.

"Remind me again why that kid's in the military," Roy said tiredly as he watched the boy's retreating back as he stomped out of the room once again.

"If I remember correctly, sir," Riza said smoothly, placing yet another pile of paperwork on his ever-cluttered desktop. "_You're_ the one who recruited him."

Roy tapped his chin with a slightly-chewed pen cap. "Huh...Now that you mention it, I guess you're right. I _did_ recruit him, didn't I?"

"Yeah, boss," said Havoc from across the room. "I keep forgetting to ask you...Why the hell did you do that?"

Roy sighed, rubbing his temples. "I'd like to say that I wanted to help him...I did end up helping him, in a roundabout way...But that's not why."

"Do tell," said Breda, preparing for a break from all the paperwork. At least until Riza persuaded (or, rather, forced) them to start working again.

"Well, I figured I'd get some praise for finding such a talented alchemist- and I did, by the way. Get some praise, I mean. I just didn't expect that he'd be such a..."

"Pain in the ass?" Havoc suggested.

Roy nodded. "Yeah. I wasn't really expecting that. I mean, it had seemed like a good idea at the time, but...Well..."

The other men in the office chuckled. "He was a lot cuter back then," said Havoc wistfully. (1)

"You say that like he's a puppy," said Fuery with a small smile.

"'Dogs of the military', right?" Roy smirked. "Of course that shrimp's a puppy. A pain in the ass puppy, but still."

Riza sighed. "You're not giving him enough credit, sir. He's just a kid."

No one seemed to hear her.

"You guys should have seen your faces when I told you he was joining our team!" Roy laughed, swinging his legs up onto his desk, all previous stress forgotten in the sudden gush of conversation.

Fuery laughed. (2) "Yeah, I remember that."

"You were worried, weren't you Havoc?" Falman asked, a rare smile crossing his face. (3)

"Yeah, I remember that...You were worried about swearing too much in front of a twelve year old!" Breda began cracking up at the thought. "I think he taught YOU some new words instead of the other way around!"

Havoc grinned. "He experimented with other names before settling on 'Colonel Bastard', didn't he?"

"My favorite's still 'horse shit.'" Breda declared. "It suits you."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, that's what you get for being named Mustang," Havoc said, lighting a cigarette.

"No smoking," Riza warned. Havoc pretended not to hear.

"But seriously," he began. "I kind of felt bad for him at first...I mean, most kids his age complain about teachers and homework and stuff. He complains about being stalked by a state alchemist murderer and spending a week in the hospital. What kind of life is that for someone so young?"

"I felt bad for him, too," agreed Fuery. "But after a while, it sort of seemed like he just...Didn't really mind it."

"Of course he minds," Riza cut in simply. "He's only in the military until he can get the philosopher's stone. After that, we'll probably never see him again. You do realize that, right? He never complains, because if he says something in front of his brother, Al will feel bad because all this trouble is for him." She shook her head. "Honestly. Don't you understand Ed at all?"

The four of them stared at her in awe, Roy excluded. "Well," he said simply, examining his nails. (4) "He's a hard kid to figure out."

Riza sighed once again and gave him a 'why-the-hell-are-you-so-damn-stupid?' look. "Everyone, back to work!"

Everyone busied themselves with returning to the creaking chairs and paper-covered desks, uncapping pens and preparing for a few more hours of work after their short, unplanned and highly enjoyable break.

There was the distant sound of conversation in the hallway, slowly growing louder and closer, until the door snapped open with a bang to reveal none other than the Elric brothers.

"The train leaves in fifteen minutes, so this needs to be fucking QUICK!" Ed yelled.

Roy groaned.

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***sighs* I did a bad job…But I'm too lazy to rewrite it. Deal with it.**

**(1) No, Havoc is not gay. But Ed is cute. Anyone can see that.**

**(2) I can't imagine Fuery laughing, no matter how hard I try…Weird, huh?**

**(3) I DEFINITELY can't imagine Falman laughing…Even just smiling is pushing it.**

**(4) Roy, you self-centered bastard. Stop giving yourself a manicure and get some work done!**

**Okay…I hope I haven't completed killed you with this shit story. Phoenix-Fire Power, I hope you enjoyed this, even though it's probably not what you had in mind.**


End file.
